Friday, February 10, 2012

I Have Returned

Hello! And welcome to MY new year day 10. I know that one of my resolutions was to post once a week and I haven't done that. But I'm going to cut myself some slack and say that 10 days in close enough. Plus I have been a busy little bee and it has been hard for me to take even just a few minutes to sit down and post. As I'm writing this I'm actually thinking about the things that I want/need to do, so please excuse me if I ramble or make no sense. My brain is going about a mile a minute.

First, my professional life has been hectic. There's a lot going on with my job and other work type ventures so it takes up a large chunk of my time. Not to mention a lot of my energy. None of it is very exciting right now so I won't waste both of our times talking about it. I may have some news at a later date but we'll hold onto that for now.

As for my writing life, I have really been struggling. I haven't quite finished The Guardian. And by haven't quite I mean I'm no where near being able to call it a completed manuscript. I stare at it for at least an hour a day, jotting notes and sometimes writing a full sentence. I even pulled out my handy-dandy pencil and pad of paper that usually gets my creative juices flowing when I get stuck staring at a computer screen. Didn't work. Progress has been beyond slow. I'm just not feeling it. I haven't come remotely close to my daily word count goals, the pace is plodding along, and I still have no idea where it is all going to wind up. To say it has been frustrating the last few weeks would be an understatement. I just don't have it right now. And I'll tell you why...


I have been struggling so hard with it because it isn't what I want to write right now. I wanted to finish it before moving on because I was so afraid I wouldn't ever be able to pick it back up again. I know now that's so not true. I have enough notes and stuff to be able to come back to it when it feels right. Why on earth am I torturing myself writing something that isn't right for me? Good question. I like my characters in it but I'm not in love with them. You know who I am in love with? Victoria Marshall, Andrew Byrd, Aubrey, Jackson, Caitlyn, Malcolm, and Marcus. My lovely little bunch from HM. I miss them. I think about them all the time and they keep whispering in my ear to come back to Brawley.

So I'm going. I'm digging back into the world I hold so dear. I'm doing something I want to do instead of something that I feel I have to (and yes, I felt like I had to finish TG before I could come back here). I'm finding the passion in my writing again and I'm going to make a go of it. I know that it is the right decision for me.

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