So as my original deadline is fast approaching I decided to take a look at where I stand. I have to say while I'm trucking along with what I've been doing at work, I am definitely far from being where I need to be. I printed out my original writings and put it into a 3-ring binder and it looked like I had done a lot (I did write 50k words, so I guess that is a lot). Then I placed upon myself a crazy ridiculous deadline. Now here I am, 3 days away from that and only about halfway through. At least that's how I felt a little earlier today. And then I realized...
I'm HALFWAY through!!!
Crazy, I know. I know that I've given myself another month in which to finish my first draft and that will come up faster than I would probably like. But for now I'm basking in the glory of HALFWAY. I struggle a lot with the "I should be further along/I can't believe how much I've done" inner monologue and it has been really hard for me. I took quite a few weeks off and I do wonder if I hadn't have taken that time would I be closer to finishing. I am 99% sure I would be but I don't think that I would be as happy with the product as I am now.
I like where the story is heading, I like what I've added, and I'm enjoying getting to know my characters better. Even if they don't like what I originally had planned for them. Writing this has become much more than just a learning experience on writing, it has become a lesson on me. I see so much of myself reflected in my words that it makes me proud that I have taken this on. And so what if it isn't "complete" by the time I turn 30. I wrote a novel, damn it! There are plenty of people who haven't, and a lot of them probably say that one day they will. Well, that one day has come for me.
I have set the goal of finishing by April 23 but I don't think I'm going to set it in stone. If my hiatus taught me anything it's that these little people I have running about in my head are the ones who are controlling the pace, not me. I wish I could give myself over freely to them and not have to work in the real world, but for now that's not an option. So I will listen to them when I can and I'll finish my draft in time to see it in print through the NaNo offer. And that is that!